It was an ordinary morning, despite the torrential downpour, as I lazily rolled one foot out after another to greet the floor. Sitting up I wiped the sleep from my eyes - completely unaware of the events about to unfold before me. Makeup. Outfit. Shake Adam, plant a kiss on his cheek. Whisper a good-morning with a 15 minute countdown added to the end. He sluggishly slid out of bed, equally unaware as he began to ready himself for the day.
A few minutes earlier than our normal leaving time we jumped in the car and carefully headed to our sweet CrossRoads Church battling the rain (and eventually floods) that could have kept us home from the moment that would define every moment that follows.
“You call me out upon the waters, the great unknown where feet may fail.”
The words echoed in the church, my heart bursting full of joy and completely aware of my Jesus’ presence.
“And there I find you in the mystery, in oceans deep, my faith will stand”
Hands raised. Accepting the truth… and once more I prayed,
“Just keep my eyes above the waves.”
Who would have thought that might be my prayer the next — I’m not even exactly sure how long.
The preacher takes the stage, “Are you ready to walk in the water? To roll in the deep? If you want to walk on water, you have to get out of the boat. You have to stretch your faith, remove safety nets, and tread in the deep to see miracles. Miracles don’t happen in the shallow, no! You have to be willing to lose sight of the shore to discover new lands. In John 6:16-21 Peter would rather sink than sit. So STOP! Stop preparing for your life and start living it! Rather than focusing on falling, just take the first step because the only thing between you and your destiny is one small act of courage. Remember, ‘ Perfect love casts out fear” and Jesus says in John 6, “It is I; do not fear.” Therefore, there comes a moment when you need to take a radical step of faith. And that moment, that very moment, will define every single moment that follows.” [Condensed and based off of quotes I wrote down in my notes.]
My hands shook.
My heart trembled.
I heard the order loud and clear, now here is the thing — I also heard the command, “Let Adam speak first.” And I knew I would have to obey.
Tears streamed down my face, I grabbed a tissue and looked up. Adam was already walking away, odd. I stepped quickly to catch him, he silently reached for my hand, and we strolled wordlessly through the puddles, over a flowing river, in the rain to our truck. I flew inside and waited. He began driving, I waited. Then down the street and prods, “What do you think?” I knew what I was commanded so I quoted, “You are supposed to speak first.” Glancing over and there he is, his eyes matching the rain dripping windows, and I know he heard the whisper, too.
Sobbing, I tried to catch my breath.
There we were — both convicted, both afraid.
I whispered, “I am ready — Adam I believe that it will be hard, beautiful, and messy.”
He nodded, “It will be all of that.”
Continuing I caught my breath, “But we have to step out of the boat, even when the waters are not still. God is bigger than our fear. He is, right?”
He grasped my hand and agreed. “I just don’t want you to be hurt, this can be really perfect, or really hard. We just have to trust God."
We smiled weakly at each other knowing this was going to be a long journey, and that day was the first step.